so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
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