My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize