my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize