i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize