she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
