I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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