am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
