I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
