Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
