Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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