You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
did you just send me my own nude
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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