Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
