I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
