Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
