if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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