it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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