Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
