i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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