Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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