Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
