Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
PANTIES FOUND
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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