OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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