You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
