Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Randomize
