So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
