i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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