your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
my shit smells like andre
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize