would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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