You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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