Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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