Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize