I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
