There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Randomize
