Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
