Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
