i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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