Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
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