Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
