After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
