Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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