You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think I am morally bankrupt
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
