thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
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