I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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