Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
