its not stalking. its research.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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