don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
