It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize