How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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