I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
