I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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