You can't special order awesome
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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