I just made out with a guy for $7.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
