using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
