You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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