So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
