You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
where are my eyebrows?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
