Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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