Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
