She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
