I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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