WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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