Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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