let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
