I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
we're so committed to being not committed
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
