I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
